I know - its been a while since I was here. Its only because I was bummed out about my fitness quest going haywire. I get into a funk and I eat....and I eat all the chocolate I can get my hands on. (Bad Margie) Since the last post, I have been to a neurologist and she says that although I do have the meralgia in my hip, this new pain is a new thing. She thinks I have pinched a nerve in the L3 or L4 section of the spine. I know - ouch. I am still benched from exercise until we can get this fixed. I need to get an MRI to see exactly what it is - it may not be what she thinks, but she is pretty sure. Anyway, I am still determined to get the weight off and so I am going to really cut back on what I eat. Since I can't exercise I have to really cut back. I have decided to go back to Herbalife. I did this about ten years ago and lost 35 pounds and kept it off until I was given depo provera and then I slowly gained it all back plus a few straggler pounds that just had to deposit themselves on my ass, boobs and choice other places. I am choosing Herbalife again since it worked so well for me before and because its really easy and full of good supplements (vitamins, minerals and herbs) and yummy, good for you, smoothies.

I am hoping that when I get the weight off, the pain will go with it. Without surgery, because I won't let that happen, and without all the drugs. I am on some now because I have to but hope to stop when the weightloss eases the pressure on my hip and back.

So here we go again. A new Year, a new Resolution and a new challenge at The Sisterhood....check out the new button and link to a great site. I am weighing in at an all time high - 175 (boohoo) - and I will post my losses because they will be alot and often (yay).

It took me forever to change the button to the new Shrink-aversary. I hope for the next one that I can remember how its done. That is a thing that comes and goes as we get older - forgetting. Most of my life I have forgotten things that I think I should have remembered, but as I get older, I forget alot more. It does come to me later but I wish it was sooner.
I forgot to weigh on Wednesday, but the new challenge starts today so I weighed in at 170. That is a few pounds up from two weeks ago, but my scale is wacky. I did over eat last week because I am in a funk.

I have a new problem physically. I have had meralgia paresthetica for almost fifteen years now. To put it simply, it's a compressed femoral nerve in my right hip. It usually comes and goes and most of the time I can cope, but now its getting really bad. My right leg is going numb all the way down to my knees and sometimes lower and the burning pain is quite bad. I have been put on nerve pain meds (goodnight, Margie) and have been told that bedrest is best, but we all know that is impossible. I am taking it as easy as I can, but I have to work. That is another thing...it is now coming on when I just stand. After standing for ten minutes, the numbness and burning come on and it is really uncomfortable working - after all, I stand all day.
The doctor seems to think that it could have been the running that made it worse because of the pounding pressure on the hip. The weight doesn't help and that is one of the reasons I need to lose it, but I was heavier before without it getting this bad. Anyway, I am off running and resistance workouts and for right now, I can't even walk.

I guess I will just stick to eating less and that sucks because that is the hardest part of losing weight. But, I am determined to do this. My son had to do an essay for Health class about eating healthy and just the way he worded it made me think that it isn't as hard as I am making it out to be. I just want my cake and cookies and candy and cheeseburgers and milkshakes without paying the price. I will take a lesson from my son and eat healthier. Its a choice, after all, and I can't condemn my ex for not quitting drugs and booze when I can't control what I put in my mouth either. How sad is that?

My son also did another essay about "home" that had me in tears. He has developed an incredible gift of writing. I am sooo proud. I couldn't post it here so here is a link for you to read it at another blog: www.margiesmusings.wordpress.com


Have a Blessed Day.

My new attitude is coming on just in time for the new challenge at the Sisterhood which starts next week. That's a good thing because I sucked on the last challenge and after reading my last post again I can see how sad it sounds. I guess I was having one of those "bloated" days and feeling really disgusted with the girth around the waist, hips and wherever else. I feel better now. My weight hasn't changed since Monday so I am at 167 for this weeks weigh-in.
I didn't lose anything for the challenge, but I will donate some cans of food to the food bank anyway, just 'cause.

For anyone wanting something natural that will help fight off any flu germs coming your way, Dr. Weil says to use 'astragalus'. I found some at Puritan's Pride and ordered it and found out that is also has a great side effect - its a natural appetite suppressant. WooHoo - just in time to help out on my 'Fitness Quest'.

I went to my niece's baby shower yesterday and although it was nice and she looked so cute, there was all the wrong things to eat so guess what. Oh, and before I even got to the shower I went to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant. The beans tasted different, but, of course, I ate them. I don't know why, but I felt so fat for the rest of the day........kidding....I know why. What I don't know is why in the hell do I keep eating this way and then get mad when the scale tells me the truth. I mean, what is wrong with me? Do I want heart disease and possibly diabetes or all the other stuff that comes with being overweight?

Someone please tell my why do we do this to ourselves. I am so good at telling other people how to do what they need to do, but do I practice what I know to be the right thing to do? After all the money I have spent on pills (that didn't work) and videos (that I don't use) and plans (that worked until I quit), maybe I should use the money on hypnosis or something that might help me change my ATTITUDE or MINDSET!! But I don't because I know that no matter how much money I give to others, the only thing I am helping is their bank account unless I take what I have learned and actually use it.

This is the conversation I have with myself almost every week and where has it gotten me? I am the same weight that I have been for over a year. I go down some and then go back up again because I can't keep my hands off food that I know - I KNOW - is not good for me.

So what can I do now but start over.......again. Once again I say that "this is the day I promise to NOT fail. This is the day that I am pissed off enough at myself to actually STICK TO IT for however long it takes to get to my goal weight and NOT FALL OFF THE PLAN".

Here I go....again. Prayers please.

I am back at 167, which is where I was when I started the last challenge at the Sisterhood. I guess that will have to be okay since 'it is what it is' and I had gained 5 pounds during the challenge. I still think my scale is off or maybe its the house. I can put the scale in different places and it says different things so the house is off kilter.

I was off the running last week. I got headaches again but not from the running itself. I think its my sinus headaches coming back. Time to get the Neti Pot out again. I also was wearing a headband and it was really tight so I had quit using that and the headaches got better. I think I was squeezing my poor brain too tight...lol...those blood vessels need to breathe to work right!! Anyway, I am doing alot of yard work so that is helping burn the calories since we have two acres - that can be alot of work. Plus I got that new Pilates workout with the resistance bands. I really like it.

I made the veggie soup so I now have something to put in my mouth that won't pile on the points and ruin my day. I can eat that when I get hungry and still stay under my points. It is working because I lost the 5 pounds that I had gained. Its a constant struggle but I got myself into this weight so I will get myself out.

I have been on again off again with the running. I got in a good run on Monday and then again on Wednesday, then missed Friday. I think I am going to do this on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Those are the days I don't work at the shop and so I can fit the runs in easier. Its so dark out there at 5:30 am and it scares me. Lots of javelina and coyote and just plain mean dogs in my neighborhood and the javelina already chased me home once (don't want to do that again) so I will run on the days that I don't have to leave for work so early.

Not much else is going on except that I gained another pound. Boo Hoo. I know that it is all my fault and so I am having a serious talk with myself. I bought a bunch of veggies and will make that soup again (we all know what I am talking about and if you don't - ask me). That way I can eat as much as I want and still stay under my points. With that and the running/walking I should lose something by the next weigh-in at the Sisterhood.

Why does it have to be so hard?? I work with this lady (skinny bitch) who can't put any weight on - or so she says (brags). Do I want to be like her?? No, I don't, but I sure would like it if it was easier to lose what I need to lose. I tell myself that there are alot of people out there who are worse off than me and somehow, it doesn't make me feel any better. I have to 'just do it'....so, why can't I? That is the unanswerable question of the year. I know I am not lazy. I guess its just harder for some of us and I need to get my head in the right place. Easier said than done.

Okay, enough whining. I guess I just needed to get it off my very abundant, saggy chest. And so now I am done and ready to go forward. Thanks for listening (reading)....lol.

I am officially off the bench!! At least by the cardiologist. I did the stress test and he said that I did very well. Blood pressure and everything else is fine. He said that I just need to take it a little slower and that made me laugh because I run at a snails pace now so slower would be walking.

Haven't heard from my regular doctor to see if there are any other tests but since the cardiologist said 'go for it' I am going for it. I didn't get the headaches until week 3 of my running program so I am going back to week 2 and see how it goes.

I did the first day of week 2 and it went fine. No headaches - just alot of sweating.

This is funny - the cardiologist asked me if I was short of breath and I had to laugh because I huff and puff all through the run. I know that isn't what he meant, but it struck me as funny. He didn't laugh...oh well.

So, I am back on track and I would never have thought that I would be happy to be running. Me, of all people, unbelievable!!

Well, I have been benched until further notice from running. Boohoo. I was getting headaches when I run for longer than two minutes and they just got worse so I finally went to the doctor and she is ordering tests. I do the tests on Monday so I will post what the results are and hopefully I will be cleared to continue running.

Trouble with the scale this week. I had to reset it and now it tells me that I have gained 5 pounds so I am back up to 169.5. Another Boohoo. I am also weighing with my clothes on now instead of in my birthday suit so it will be the same when I weigh at other places - like the gym - which I haven't been to in ages. I knew I shouldn't have signed that contract. I thought it would make me go more often if I was paying for it....NOT!! Oh yeah, and the doctors scale says more too so I can't get mad at them anymore either. This means that it weighs me in at 173 with my clothes on - triple Boohoo.

I am exercising though, even if its not at the gym. That is a good thing. Now I am back to walking since I can't run. And - get this - I miss running. Never in my life would I have ever imagined that I would like running, much less miss it when I can't do it. Just goes to show that miracles do happen.

Today is weigh in day at the Sisterhood and I am down one pound for a total of only three pounds since we started but I am doing better on the running.

I am now on week 3 and finished day 1 of the c25k. I was almost ready to repeat week 2 since I missed a couple of runs but someone at coolrunning.com talked about not letting fear stop you from going forward. So, I decided to give it a try and I am totally amazed that I did it. Three whole minutes - twice, no less. I almost passed out and I was cursing at Matt (the guy from coolrunning) - mostly in my head because I couldn't talk!!.....but I got it done.

I never, even in my dreams, thought I would be running - actually its a very slow jog, but hey, its faster than walking. In my dreams I can fly (I love those flying dreams) but never ever do I run - unless something is chasing me and then it is in slow motion because my legs feel like lead weights. Dreams are weird. Anyway, I am amazed.

I was so pumped that I actually ran for three minutes I was bragging (we are allowed to do that) when my son started laughing and said, "three minutes? - anyone can run three minutes" So I told him to go get on the treadmill and see if he could do it and he ran and hid in his room - Hah - scaredy cat.

I am back to eating right again too so along with the running, I should lose more every week.

I also found this new exercise contraption - I know, I know, here I go again. Last week I almost bought the Ab Rocker, but I read alot of reviews and decided against it. The one I ordered is called the AeroPilates Spacemate Total Body Exerciser w/ DVD, Mat & Bag. It is with Margelin (I think that is how you spell her name). Anyway, I liked it because: 1) it is cheaper than most machines and 2) it isn't really a machine - more like resistance cords that you can hook up to your door. I am hoping to do this workout on the days I don't run.

I know I am asking alot of myself right now, but baby steps have never worked for me so I need to get serious about my health. I keep saying that and I know what I need to do so as Nike says - "Just Do It".

Speaking of Nike - I got me some new running shoes. I was using my old reeboks and while they are really comfortable they are really old. I love them, but there is not alot of support there for running so I got me some new ones. Wow, excuse me while I am impressed with myself for doing all of this. Now I just need to keep it up. And there's the rub.

I have finished week one of the c25k and am so pumped about it. I had to miss the last day because I got a hair stuck in my foot and it took alot of digging to get it out amd it left a big hole. But thats okay - I am now on week two and today I do Week 2 Day 2. It is going better than I expected and that is a good thing and I lost 2 pounds on top of that so yipeee!!!

Love to all at the Sisterhood for keeping me on track and excited about getting the weight off and hope everyone keeps pushing for better health.

HONK HONK

To all of you amazing women I met at the Sisterhood, we've never met each other, (some of you have and I hope to meet all of you one day), but for a few months now it has been my privilege to get acquainted with some of you. I want to share the story of the Goose. Why?? Because geese all travel the same distance, make the same journey, go the same direction to achieve the same goal, but sometimes one falls out of formation because she is just 'too tired to fly any longer'. She knows where she is supposed to go, the rest of the flock are well on their way, but she just can't keep up. The joy of being in such a strong formation though is that when all seems hopeless she is carried forward by the strength of those flying around her, she is lifted and kept in the air by the sheer wind of wings flying beside her. When she regains her strength, she is still in formation, and on her way again, with the never-ending support of her flock. And when it is her turn to keep another in the air, she will remember.

I am determined to lose this weight and when I fall off to the wayside of my journey you have given me such inspiration and support that I wanted to share this story with you to say "Thank You" for being there for me when I needed you and I hope to be there for someone else who needs a little (or a big) push to stay on track.

So this week, I started over.....again. And may this be the last time I start over. But if it not, I know that I will have you all to keep me looking toward my goal.

So a very BIG HONK HONK to all the sisters.

Margie

Last time I posted I was giving up on exercise and so this is good news today. My back is all better and I started c25k on Monday, August 31st. At the Sisterhood they are doing a new challenge with the Wii and since I don't have one, I chose to train for a 5k. Its 9 weeks of training so I have found a 5k in November that I am using as my goal. Yikes - it sounds daunting, but I know I can do it and with my son telling me that I can - unless I get into my 'stupid attitude' - I will cross that finish line. So to speak.

So I am doing the c25k and the Shrink For Good challenge - see the button??

Aaaaagh...this HUGE spider just crawled across the wall next to me - scared the #$%@ out of me. I think I got it, but now my feet are up on the chair until I can finish this. Isn't it weird how something that small can scare us like that. Well, it wasn't THAT small. Just alot smaller than me.

Whew - Anyway, I have done two sessions of the c25k and will do day three tomorrow. I want to find something that I can do on the other days of the week - at least two of them and I am thinking yoga. We shall see.

Here I go again...

Okay, I slacked off enough already. I am not going to let this bad back get me down. I am better, but not healed so its been hard getting into the fitness thing when I can't exercise. I can't even walk without hurting, but I don't want to totally give up so I am back to counting points. I know that I can lose without exercise...not as much, but it can be done. I love WW and will love being on the next challenge at the Sisterhood. Doing something good for others while doing something good for myself.

I am not doing well this week. My back is still giving me problems and that makes me grumpy and when I am grumpy I eat and get even grumpier. Yes, friends, its one of THOSE weeks. Nuff said.

I hate to do this, but I have to change my choices for the 21 Day Callenge at the Sisterhood. My back is still not up to par and the couch-2-5k does a number on it so I will still do the stretching and the Vitamins and walk (instead of run) as much as I can without stressing the back. I will pick up the c-2-5k program after my back is completely healed.

Okay - I got alot of feedback about how trying to burn off an extra 500 calories a day is too much. I thought that my treadmill said that after 30 minutes I had burned off 230 calories so I figured that if I stayed on for an hour it would add up to around 500. Well, I was wrong - it's 130 calories for 30 minutes. So.....I will double that.

I checked out to see how many calories are burned with the Couch-to-5k Program and the first week averages around 330 calories!! Wow - that is amazing since the program is only 30 minutes from warm-up to cool-down. By the time you make it to week 9 you are burning 500+ in about 40 minutes.

So my new 21 day program is to start the Couch-to-5K program.

Thank you to the Sisterhood for putting this out there. I found a blog about this program and one person's journey through it. Check it out - http://couchto5kandbeyond.wordpress.com/

The love/hate relationship with the scale is on the hate side today. I knew I had gained so my new start weight for the new Sisterhood challenge is 165.

The new challenge calls for us to form a new habit for 21 days. They listed 10 habits that are good things to do and some of them I already do - like the water and breakfast - but I know that if I take on too many I will burn myself out, so I am only doing three. I am most terrible at getting in my exercise and so I am going to try to get enough in to burn an extra 500 calories a day. This will include the stretching so I will list that one as well and I need to get into the habit of taking my vitamins.

Thats my list and I am sticking to it.

Well, its been almost two weeks since the Sisterhood challenge ended and I ended up down and out with a pulled muscle and gaining five pounds in the process. The only thing I got up for was to go to the bathroom or to eat so, of course, I gained weight. Five pounds worth.......:(. The good news is - I am feeling better and back on track - Just in time for the new challenge at the Sisterhood. It starts tomorrow and I am so glad because it really keeps me accountable. I hope they do teams again.

Well, the Sisterhood challenge is over and TEAM LIME came in 4th overall and a few of us got Honorable Mention!! Congrats to the team for a job well done....YEA! There is going to be another challenge and I will definitely be on that one as well so I can reach my goal by Jan. 29th.

I think now that I have decided to make it a 'lifestyle change' rather than 'be on a diet' it is getting easier. I find that I just automatically make better choices at restaurants and if I do order something 'not so healthy for me' then I eat a salad for dinner. Its all in the balance. Plus, I finally made it to the treadmill!!

The news from Shrinking Jeans this week was not good for the Lime Team. We were in third place and now we are in fifth. I guess that means that we have to get serious and get some weight off because this is the last week. I hope they have another challenge because being on a team helps me stay accountable. So, come on Lime Team...we can do this!!!

Kristen (WTG Girl) was the only one losing this week and the rest of us need to step up!! One week to go and we need to finish big!! I know that we can do it.

Okay, here is the new name: Margie's Fitness Quest. Its the only thing I can come up with right now and it looks good so there it is. I may think of something else on down the road, but for now I like it. The Lime Team didn't do too well this week except for Kristen....Way TO Go Girl....she is just melting away!! I don't know where that leaves us on the leader board for this week. We will find out tomorrow.

I am wanting to change the name of this blog to something that doesn't have the word 'diet' in it. "Margie's Diet Dialogue" is cute, but its got the "d" word in it so I am looking for something else. This is no longer a "diet" as Thea from Shrinking Jeans so eloquently put it. This is a quest to get healthy. I haven't come up with a new name yet, but it will be changed.

My weight, however, didn't change. I guess that is a good thing since it didn't go up, but I would prefer a loss. I know the reason - no exercise. For whatever reason, my butt didn't make it to the gym or even off the couch for that matter, except to go to work and other necessities. So, now I have to make exercise a necessity.

This is where priorities come in and we have to make them into habits. I would never think of leaving the house without brushing my teeth, so why do I think that "not" exercising is okay? Its not okay and I have to make it part of my daily routine. I know - that's easier said than done, but it is what it is. I have to make it not be a chore. Chores are things that we have to do but may not like and I don't want to look at it as a chore. Exercise should be something I do for my heart just like brushing is something I do for my teeth. Keep them healthy or lose them. Hey, now that may be the way to look at it. Its cool how just sitting here typing my thoughts makes me come up with the right frame of mind. So now I have a new motto - "Keep it Healthy". Maybe that should be the new name for my blog!!

Hope all the Losers at Shrinking Jeans do well this week. Come On Gang - Lets Keep It Healthy.

Well, I am learning how to customize my blog so I have added a few links. I will be a pro at this before you know it.

For the last weigh-in at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, I was down three pounds and felt really good, Let's hope I can keep the downward swing going for the weeks to come.

There was a post on Shrinking Jeans about doing this as a "way of life" instead of a "diet" and that really struck a chord with me so I am not using the "D" word anymore. I am committed to just eating healthier for the rest of my life.

Now I am going to put a link to this blog on Shrinking Jeans so I can stay committed and motivated.

GO LIME TEAM!!!

Okay, here I go with my first Diet Blog. Maybe I should say New Lifestyle Blog. Here I will post my efforts to get this weight off once and for all and share it with all of you who are on this same journey. We can do this and we all know how - its just the "geturdone" part that is hard. But with a renewed outlook and some help from my friends who are on this same road I will succeed.

When I joined a challenge at www.shrinkingjeans.net I was at 173 lbs and that is not good for my heart...and I love my heart so you would think that I would treat it better. After all, it is what will keep me alove for a very long time. I am now at 162 and I am pumped!! I hope that this challenge will continue for a while.

I am with the Lime Team and when we first started we were at the top of the leaderboard but have since been bumped off - hopefully we will get back up there for the finale.