Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My new attitude is coming on just in time for the new challenge at the Sisterhood which starts next week. That's a good thing because I sucked on the last challenge and after reading my last post again I can see how sad it sounds. I guess I was having one of those "bloated" days and feeling really disgusted with the girth around the waist, hips and wherever else. I feel better now. My weight hasn't changed since Monday so I am at 167 for this weeks weigh-in.
I didn't lose anything for the challenge, but I will donate some cans of food to the food bank anyway, just 'cause.

For anyone wanting something natural that will help fight off any flu germs coming your way, Dr. Weil says to use 'astragalus'. I found some at Puritan's Pride and ordered it and found out that is also has a great side effect - its a natural appetite suppressant. WooHoo - just in time to help out on my 'Fitness Quest'.

Monday, October 19, 2009

I went to my niece's baby shower yesterday and although it was nice and she looked so cute, there was all the wrong things to eat so guess what. Oh, and before I even got to the shower I went to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant. The beans tasted different, but, of course, I ate them. I don't know why, but I felt so fat for the rest of the day........kidding....I know why. What I don't know is why in the hell do I keep eating this way and then get mad when the scale tells me the truth. I mean, what is wrong with me? Do I want heart disease and possibly diabetes or all the other stuff that comes with being overweight?

Someone please tell my why do we do this to ourselves. I am so good at telling other people how to do what they need to do, but do I practice what I know to be the right thing to do? After all the money I have spent on pills (that didn't work) and videos (that I don't use) and plans (that worked until I quit), maybe I should use the money on hypnosis or something that might help me change my ATTITUDE or MINDSET!! But I don't because I know that no matter how much money I give to others, the only thing I am helping is their bank account unless I take what I have learned and actually use it.

This is the conversation I have with myself almost every week and where has it gotten me? I am the same weight that I have been for over a year. I go down some and then go back up again because I can't keep my hands off food that I know - I KNOW - is not good for me.

So what can I do now but start over.......again. Once again I say that "this is the day I promise to NOT fail. This is the day that I am pissed off enough at myself to actually STICK TO IT for however long it takes to get to my goal weight and NOT FALL OFF THE PLAN".

Here I go....again. Prayers please.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I am back at 167, which is where I was when I started the last challenge at the Sisterhood. I guess that will have to be okay since 'it is what it is' and I had gained 5 pounds during the challenge. I still think my scale is off or maybe its the house. I can put the scale in different places and it says different things so the house is off kilter.

I was off the running last week. I got headaches again but not from the running itself. I think its my sinus headaches coming back. Time to get the Neti Pot out again. I also was wearing a headband and it was really tight so I had quit using that and the headaches got better. I think I was squeezing my poor brain too blood vessels need to breathe to work right!! Anyway, I am doing alot of yard work so that is helping burn the calories since we have two acres - that can be alot of work. Plus I got that new Pilates workout with the resistance bands. I really like it.

I made the veggie soup so I now have something to put in my mouth that won't pile on the points and ruin my day. I can eat that when I get hungry and still stay under my points. It is working because I lost the 5 pounds that I had gained. Its a constant struggle but I got myself into this weight so I will get myself out.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I have been on again off again with the running. I got in a good run on Monday and then again on Wednesday, then missed Friday. I think I am going to do this on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Those are the days I don't work at the shop and so I can fit the runs in easier. Its so dark out there at 5:30 am and it scares me. Lots of javelina and coyote and just plain mean dogs in my neighborhood and the javelina already chased me home once (don't want to do that again) so I will run on the days that I don't have to leave for work so early.

Not much else is going on except that I gained another pound. Boo Hoo. I know that it is all my fault and so I am having a serious talk with myself. I bought a bunch of veggies and will make that soup again (we all know what I am talking about and if you don't - ask me). That way I can eat as much as I want and still stay under my points. With that and the running/walking I should lose something by the next weigh-in at the Sisterhood.

Why does it have to be so hard?? I work with this lady (skinny bitch) who can't put any weight on - or so she says (brags). Do I want to be like her?? No, I don't, but I sure would like it if it was easier to lose what I need to lose. I tell myself that there are alot of people out there who are worse off than me and somehow, it doesn't make me feel any better. I have to 'just do it', why can't I? That is the unanswerable question of the year. I know I am not lazy. I guess its just harder for some of us and I need to get my head in the right place. Easier said than done.

Okay, enough whining. I guess I just needed to get it off my very abundant, saggy chest. And so now I am done and ready to go forward. Thanks for listening (reading)