I went to my niece's baby shower yesterday and although it was nice and she looked so cute, there was all the wrong things to eat so guess what. Oh, and before I even got to the shower I went to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant. The beans tasted different, but, of course, I ate them. I don't know why, but I felt so fat for the rest of the day........kidding....I know why. What I don't know is why in the hell do I keep eating this way and then get mad when the scale tells me the truth. I mean, what is wrong with me? Do I want heart disease and possibly diabetes or all the other stuff that comes with being overweight?

Someone please tell my why do we do this to ourselves. I am so good at telling other people how to do what they need to do, but do I practice what I know to be the right thing to do? After all the money I have spent on pills (that didn't work) and videos (that I don't use) and plans (that worked until I quit), maybe I should use the money on hypnosis or something that might help me change my ATTITUDE or MINDSET!! But I don't because I know that no matter how much money I give to others, the only thing I am helping is their bank account unless I take what I have learned and actually use it.

This is the conversation I have with myself almost every week and where has it gotten me? I am the same weight that I have been for over a year. I go down some and then go back up again because I can't keep my hands off food that I know - I KNOW - is not good for me.

So what can I do now but start over.......again. Once again I say that "this is the day I promise to NOT fail. This is the day that I am pissed off enough at myself to actually STICK TO IT for however long it takes to get to my goal weight and NOT FALL OFF THE PLAN".

Here I go....again. Prayers please.